Ning

Ally, I'll miss you so much. I don't know how my weekends will be without the full quints around. *cries* Ally you must come back from china soon!!!!

Ska, I really hope you'll feel better *hugs*

As for me... I survived 23 hours of the DMB blogathon. Yay me. For one, I couldn't sleep. Then I started puking, that's why I knew I had to sleep. Well, so there. The blogathon was quite a success. It made my day =D I was really pleased throughout the whole blogathon and well, was rather hyper. I got to know some of the newer members better and they too agreed that they felt more comfortable in DMB. The whole thing rocked!

(These are all blogathon pics and stuff)

Well, if you really want to know more depressing stuff... it's that I trust no one else. Someone I respected alot, trusted alot, just betrayed my trust... and I never knew till recently.... I've decided that bottling up may make me feel miserable, but it's better than feeling betrayed by someone so important and so respected. The person I am referring to, I'm sorry... I never expected you to do that. I know how much you cared but I trusted you... I tried not to tell you so much lately cos I knew you could not take it already, but you still betrayed me. I respected you so much... I dunno whether or not to say I'm hurt. But from now on, I'm going to bottle everything up. I'll decorate the exterior of my bottle. It will look so pretty, and I will look like I have no problems at all.

Bleh, I'm feeling so weak now. Headaches, Backaches, Chest pains (tightness) and aching all over. I feel so tired, yet can't fall asleep. Darn.

Well, I'm going to rant abit. WHY!? *chokes* Because I can't fall asleep I decided to go read more fanfics and I went to one that Rellie recommended. And tada, there you have it, "Sirius dies a tragic death." What's their friggin big problem. Why does everyone make my husband die?! *coughs* I'm pissed because my Sirius is now reading fanfics about himself. u_u Whatever. EDIT // I gave up reading the fanfic. Why? Because the person did a horrible characterization for Hermione and there's no decent presence of my husband. Bleh. People who write fanfics, don't destroy JKR's characterization

Anything much happened? Yeah alot. Alot of impactful stuff but I told you. I'm a nicely decorated bottle. The bottle stands and shines. It's not even labelled, it's just heavily decorated, yet really stunning. Wonderful exterior.

Anyway, friggin' hell. Pinchpenny killed eORG. Don't ask me why. I feel like murdering them. Bleh we paid and they were like "You didn't pay. There you go, pay or die." Okie, not that drastic but still - darn. Also, someone needs to knock some sense into me. I've been really weird lately. No idea why I get so easily startled and distracted. Ugh.

And, I died for my Maths test (I didn't do enough questions to even add up to a passing mark). I died for Geography, I didn't fail but I hated myself when I saw the results. I scored pretty alright for Science. I died for chinese as you probably already know.

I have nothing much to say actually. I just wanna blog =| I'll make it a point to blog here daily then...

ALLY WE MISS YOU

It's amazing what sleep can do to you.

I haven't been sleeping much because I just can't... So I slept for less than 2 hours everyday (not including the times i sleep during lessons). Well, yesterday, I found myself so barred of energy... I fell asleep while reading the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I planned to stay up actually. I never thought I'd fall asleep, much less in front of my favourite Harry Potter book in the series. Well yeah so I haven't been sleeping so I got zit breakouts. And after a 12 hour sleep from yesterday, it isn't so bad already xD

Yesterday, we went shopping. After National Day celebration in School. It's disturbing to see so much red, you probably know what went into my mind. Red. Blood. But whatever. Okay, red is one of the two colors in Singapore's flag and apparently we are to wear red to school. I didn't. I wore my uniform because I was too lazy. Yeah, we went shopping at Plaza Singapura.

We intended to watch "The Village" and then later head on to SJI (St Joseph's Institution) for their parade but found that "The Village" was too full. If we wanted seats, we had to seat alone all over the theatre. Hmmm Then we tried Ella Enchanted, same thing. *pouts* So we went to find food, then went shopping and I became to exhausted I didn't go to SJI. Bleh.

I can't remember the tons of stuff I wanted to blog. UGH

Anyway... here's a little paragraph from the Daily Prophet from PoA (i'm reading again)
While Muggles have been told that Black is carrying a gun (a kind of metal wand which Muggles use to kill each other) the magical community lives in fear of a massacre like that of twelve years ago, when Black murdered thirteen people with a single curse

I've really had enough. I'm so tired of it all. I'm looking back to April. I broke down everyday because I don't know when I will end. I don't know whether anyone would care. I don't care now actually. I just want to shut myself somewhere. I wish someone would take away all the fear, insecurity and hate I have. I thought happiness was easily feigned.

Something happened. Nothing big that will affect others. Just that I feel horrid. I made lots of people feel horrid too. I don't even know whether I feel guilty. I'm so heartless. I hate myself. I hate everyone. I hate everything... Why... Why is hate the only thing I can feel?

I don't feel like blogging... I finished my first ever vector, click to see

Bye.

EDIT:: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE, MY HOMELANDDDDDD



EDIT2:: I really don't wish Mr Goh Chok Tong to step down. He is very important to Singapore. To me, Mr Lee Kuan Yew is the father of singapore and Mr Goh Chok Tong was another father, who helped build singapore into a successful nation. I'm fine with Mr Lee Hsien Loong really, but I don't think he's ready for the Prime Minister post. I just cannot see him with enough respect as Mr Lee Kuan Yew or Mr Goh Chok Tong. I feel like crying seeing him step down as the Prime Minister....

My secret sister from s2s made me that avie *points* *hugs the avie*

(I need a time out. I'm probably not going to blog here for a while.)

By the way, if I regain my interest with webdesign anytime soon, you should be expecting a new layout here.

Well, some ex-monk singer came to our school today. We were laughing at him. Well, pretending to be some mad shitass fangirl. No thanks, I'm no big fangirl. I'm not as sirius obsessed as you think I am, it's just a "me" online. Well, I shall just make some sweeping statements. Firstly, 90% of the school don't listen to Chinese songs. Secondly, 95% of the school don't even know who he is. He made a fool of himself here. The response was cold enough for me to laugh at. But whatever, it's quite obvious we're laughing. And Nicole, your actions are like BIG. You pointed and you fell over laughing. *mumbles* Fine I did too, but I didn't POINT. Well and nicole and I were shouting for him to "tuo yi" (strip) LOL and we were teaching Prema how to say "Wo ai ni" (I love you), "Jia gei wo" (Marry me) and so we were pretending to be mad fans. Bleh, I sound like a bitch. Yay.

And. If you wish to ask about Singapore Idol. Forget it. Those are just really sad, disappointing people. I've never liked the idea of having Singapore Idol. So there. I'm going to keep up with the episodes, stay amused.

I don't really know what to say.

(You see, the world is moving. I'm not.)

Well, I went to friendster a few days back. I read random people's testimonials and profiles (people from neighbourhood schools whose bimbos are plainly AH LIANS). Uhh to DMBers... Ah lian is erm a... kind of bimbo. I don't think I can explain very well. But they're rather dumb. They dress horrible too. IJ bimbos rock. Anyway... I went and I was... uhhh... thoroughly disgusted. I'm not going to be a nice person and just form my own version of their "nice typing". I'm going to directly quote. Because I simply can't type that way *shudders*

mi now is oni 14 years old... studying in WoodlandS rIng Sec loRz... em..mi arz.. ki siao de larz.. hehez have tupid temper one
change lik e weather..hehez... can play wif u veri happily den suddenly be veri quiet or angry or wat e lorz... hehez...

I hate galZ tat is a BITCH!!! especially those who have stead le den keep CHAN other pple stead... example lik _ _ _ _ _ _ _... hahahZ... slowly go guess lorZ... hehehZ... marsiling sec one worZ... hahahZ... dunno larZ... all predicted one... dun wan care le... muz haf XIN LI ZUN BEI... hahahZ...

I look at that I feel so horribly proud of my english. Yes, thank you very much.

Anyway, I did this survey last saturday, never remembered to post it

You might have already realised that I break my depressing stuff from the entry itself. So you'll have to click to see it. Since I figured no one would really give a damn, or even want to waste time clicking. So there.

(Well, I'm sick of thinking about life.)

Alright. I'm on deviantart now if you don't know. Yes there. I'm going to start doing photo manipulations since I'm such a morbid idiot. I did some photos and because, and of course, I'm such a shameless plugger... Here's some of my works:

Bleeding Tears
Behind Rain
Raindrops

Oh and I'm such a sucker for korean. Well, my mom bought the korean drama series vcd, Summer Scent. And well, I was bored. So I took the first episode to watch and I watched it all in korean. UNFORTUNATELY, my chinese sucks, so I had a hard time reading the subtitles. Rahhh... nevermind.

This is horribly disturbing. What? *coughs* What an insult to the wonderful me. SO... I decided to send them a definition. "Used when calling someone funky/wacky/crazy or describing one with great hyperactiveness." Well, they said it will be posted in 24 hours. So lets just see xDDD I wanted to say "used when calling me" but uhhh yes, decided against that I did.

(Anyway. I know this is unrealistic, but...)

Sorry for not blogging for quite awhile. I needed time to think things out

(Alright. Here's the not so light-hearted stuff)

I've been going home about 11pm+ lately. I don't even tell my mom. She called the school. How pleasant. Anyway, I think it's cool to reach home so late. It's the time that Ally and chummie comes online. It's the time I want to be home. When everyone will ignore me. When I'll stay up the whole night talking to the quints. And when I feel independent. Well, minus that part when I walked for 5 minutes on the street with only menacing looking males. *freaks out* Yeah, freaky. But still - I enjoyed it. I plan to go home later from now on. Happiness and freedom =)

Saturday, we went to discuss Lit project and do filming. Lit Project - Sarah, Nirasha, Connie and I. Filming - Mabelene, Patricia, Sarah and I. Well then I took some pics.

Errr. Sarah and Nirasha trying to be funny, poking their fingers into the poor horse's nose...

Sarah at OP playing with the megabloks thingy. I got scolded for taking pictures in the store. Bwahaha.

Nirasha. She's weird. I honestly wonder how she answers the phone. Wait - it's in the pic xD

That's Patricia's disturbingly pooh-y room. Well, yes sweet. But you start feeling claustrophobic. Well... yeah =|

I did some paintings on Painter 8 over the past week. It's a great relief. Cos I get to just slash my strokes against the virtual canvas like no one's business. Well, they do have meaning. The colors say alot. The strokes do too. Click here for the first piccy and Click here for the second piccy. Don't bother to analyse it, really.

By the way, Alessa is my official husband/wife in class (yes, don't stare at my like that. I still love my husband sirius *shakes head*)

(The not-so-happy stuff)

The thread at DMB about cutting is really disturbing. I feel like crying just reading the thread and I have no idea why and because I don't know whether I'm rambling or trying to give advice. Well, just a note - everything i said there, i really did it subconsciously. So I say... don't cut yourself. It isn't cool. Well, but by all means do it if you really need to.

Really nothing much to blog about. So I shall bring you to fantasy land again. Where Ally, Chummie and I are chieves of some weird tribe.
Chummie = Kudash = Chief Dude/Dudette
Ally = Shadduk = The Chief
MOI = Nigko = The Ex-Chief. Currently Chief Angel
lmao. I was almost called Minggu. Man, hell no. MINGGU. I called myself Prata at first, cos I can't think of a decent name. Well, looks like Kudash already named me.

Well. I didn't go to school today. Or rather, yesterday. Oooo it's 5.30am o_____O.

There's something wrong with my mind. Seriously. I need a headbang of some sort. Ning, just stop dreaming. Ning, start being practical. Ning, stop being such a shitass.

That's a very short depressing note. But I shall end here, saying that I won't post my feelings here anymore. Talking to myself is good.

To the rest who needs to know. The Lamers' Tribe Chairman at my tagboard is Patricia. She's my classmate and a very close friend. She's a big monster. She's the one with the scary poohy room. I shan't elaborate about The Lamers' Tribe. lol but I will someday. When I feel like doing so.

I really need to read the Da Vinci Code. Ally very happily went on and on about how nice it is and totally ignored my reading desires. *shrugs* nevermind. I'll get my hands on it one day. ONE DAY pssssh

I have no idea why I lost interest in webdesigning... = I used to love it. I use to do it like every single day... but now... despite my immense desire to webdesign, i just can't bring myself to do it. bah nevermind.

I have nothing else to blog about. Sarah, Nirasha and Connie are coming over later on in the afternoon. I forgot today's my brother's birthday... *shrugs* I'm pretty glad my friends are coming over to do the lit project though. Cos I don't have to go out with my family to celebrate my brother's birthday. I don't like going out with my family too much.

Not sleeping again. *shrugs*

(What should I do?)

Well, lets see... I cannot watch the Olympics. It makes me darned stressed up. I have no idea why. I watch the Olympics for 15 minutes and I'm clenching my fists and on the verge of crying. And games too. Games like "Collapse". They simply make me want to collapse. I have no idea why watching Olympics or playing games make me stressed. I'm the weirdest nut ever.

Oh yes. I was talking to an AIM bot (some robot thing which *tries* to respond to you as approperiately as possible). Yeah I was talking to the robot about sex. No no, I didn't come up with that. I so absolutely have no sexual desires. Sarah is right, "DO NOT BE SEXUALLY AROUSED" There, sexual education does that kinda things to poor innocent brains. Now we go chanting "Do not be sexually aroused!!!" er- right. I was saying... I was talking to the robot about sex. He kept scolding me and saying (something like) "You humans always talk about that. Can we talk about something else" Then I went "I so fucking hate you. Now, get horny" *coughs-just pretend you didn't hear that from me-coughs* And he was like "Now, apologise. That's not very nice." I kept repeating the word sex and he ignored me *laughs ass out* He's amusing to talk to. But may i point out that I DID NOT START THIS. SHAHI DID. She wanted the AIM bot to call her Mrs Shahi Weasley-Grint, yet it refused to. LOL so she came complaining to me.

Oh yes!!! Louise from Niji.co.uk is hosting me =) She's going to host my pixel site. Wheeeee. And on a lighter note, Evanesco is coming back. Thanks to rellie. =) She helped me retrieve my password. How she did that, I have no idea. But bleh, I'm just not able to webdesign *shrugs* If I could, this place would have looked much spiffier.

Oh yes... My dear fanfic writers. Do not get MY sirius involved in any relationship. He's mine. I mean like HELLOOOOO, Tonks and Sirius!? *clears throat* Someone should take notice of me, the almighty Mrs Black.

Yue made more Emotion Yue(s)! Wheee then she was a BIG copycat. Rellie said she imitated me darned well. OIY I'm the ORIGINAL GLUESTICK SNIFFER. HMPH copy cat

(what?)

I'm so darned tired. I finally decided to sleep. I gave up on studying chinese. I really can't. I actually finished quite a bit already. And guess why? Cos I spend 2 hours on just 10 words. I hate it when I can't concentrate..... *shrugs*

And my back and head had been killing me the whole day. Or rather, the past few days. They should be chopped off. Bleh. I'm so tired...

Today I was on the bus and these guys freaked me out. Well, first the started to pull my hair. Then stopped. Then I fell asleep then when I was half-awake (eyes still closed) I found that they were taking pictures of me while I was sleeping. And when I woke up. I didn't do anything. Continued sitting there and took a really long way out cos I wanted them to alight first. Well, they did. Then right after they did, I hopped off the next stop and took another bus back. STUPID GUYS